Essential Questions to Ask Your Therapist When You Feel Stuck in Your Mental Health Journey

Therapy is tough work. Both you and your therapist (usually) work hard to help you achieve your goals. That said, sometimes therapy doesn't seem to help.

When you think this way, it is important to hold onto hope and take control of your journey.

The questions below are all questions I would love a therapist to address naturally, but we are imperfect people. I do not want that to stand in the way of your progress.

What progress have you seen?

Listen. Maybe you have made progress, and it is hard to see. In the marathon of mental health, maybe you finished two miles and are simply focusing on how much you have left to go rather than how much you have already gone. Maybe allowing your therapist time to praise you would feel good.

On the other hand, if they say nothing, you may have a conversation why.

Is this normal?

I hope your therapist provided good informed consent. As a therapist and supervisor, I know how important it is to tell clients that therapy may not help (perhaps it is the wrong type, wrong provider, "wrong time," etc). It is also important to know mental health may get worse before it gets better, because talking about hard things is tough. Maybe you are simply in the "worse" part before the breakthrough.

Is there something I am doing that might be impairing my progress?

Sometimes, we need to be told we're holding ourselves back. Maybe we haven't been completing our therapy homework. Maybe we continue toxic patterns. Maybe we need to be called out.

Is there someone else you would like to speak to?

Do you need to bring your partner, parent, family member, or friend into therapy? Sometimes, an outside perspective can help your therapist see patterns or dynamics that are hurting you.

Is there something different I can try in or outside of therapy?

Maybe they would recommend a psychiatric evaluation, couples therapy, family therapy, or a different type of therapy (like EMDR). It may even be as simple as learning a new relaxation skill or trying something like exposure (slowly exposing yourself to things that cause you stress).

Has my diagnosis changed?

Perhaps unsurprisingly, therapists get a better sense of your diagnosis the more time they spend with you. Your diagnosis could change. Maybe you no longer meet the criteria for your original diagnosis, or maybe you now meet the criteria for an additional one. Knowing your diagnosis MIGHT help you normalize what you are going through and lead to a conversation about best ways to treat your diagnosis. Of course, I am not your therapist. You or your therapist may decide it is best not to know your diagnosis.

Can we update my treatment plan?

On a similar note, maybe the therapist is working toward outdated or unfocused goals. Maybe there are no goals at all. Having an updated treatment plan can help guide your treatment.

Do I need to change therapists?

Bad therapist-client matches do happen. Sometimes it's a vibe thing, a skill thing, a chemistry thing, a specialty thing, a certification thing, whatever. Either way, it's okay to change therapists.

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Whatever the answers to these questions are, I hope they empower you to take control of your mental health journey.